Snake The Black MOMBA!!

It’s been years with living with a problem and the time came to correct it.  I had been dreading this appointment for weeks not because of the embarrassment , ok a little bit but more of the unknown, what would they find.  I had help by others saying” don’t worry it will be ok”. That didn’t really help but it was nice to hear.  Before I go on with how this day progressed, everyone that has problems in the bottom, butt, ass, behind, dairy air or any other name for that specific part of the body should seek help from there doctor.

Ok, now this was my day.  I was brought to the hospital for my Flexible Sigmoidoscopy. (just so you know I had no SEDATION!)   I waited for my name to be called and sure enough it happened the Nurse got my name wrong.  Mr. Kersey? Mr. Kersey? I stood up and said” Mr. Hersey?” NO Kersey! I said Hersey with an H? No Kersey with a K! the nurse said.   Then she walked away.  I said to my friend she has it wrong and will be back in a minute and ask for Mr. Hersey.  We both laughed as well as everyone in the waiting room.  So much for being discrete in this highly sensitive area.  Sure enough she came back and said “Mr. Hersey?” looking directly at me.  I got up and went with her.  She said sorry and then lead me into the room.  Once in there she told me to take off all my lower half of clothes and sit down.  I could see this massive snake, Black Momba!  This thing is going to hurt me…. 😦  As soon  as the Doctor came in he looked at my friend and said “You aren’t Mr. Hersey.  Then said some thing are not ment to be shared. She Left.

The Doctor asked me to lie back so he could check my abdomen and then said “roll onto your left side and bring your knees up to your chest.  At this point all I could do was PANIC!!!  The snake is coming! HELP.  He said to relax, How could on relax knowing that your going to be VIOLATED.   He said that it might feel uncomfortable at first but all will be ok.  Like hell, it was more than uncomfortable, it hurt down there so poking around will hurt.  He then said and I quote “You will feel like you want to CRAP! but you won’t as there is nothing inside you.”  I said ok and boy that feeling came and I said ” I’m going to shit!” he said no you won’t with a little snicker.  The feeling passed and then he forced air inside me and it stretched and bloated my insides.  That hurt some but not as bad as I thought.  Then I felt a hand on my right shoulder ( Strange Deliverance thoughts went though my mind at that point) But it turned out to be the Nurse and she said “Just relax.”  The Doctor then said “He is and you should see him when he’s not. ”  I had to laugh. HAA HAA  I got to see it on the screen all my innerds.  Not to bad.  He, the Doctor told me all is clear of cancer or abnormalities. What a relief!  He did say that I had some internal hemorrhoids.  I already knew that.  He said he could band them now if I wanted him to or come back at a later date to do it.  I said will it hurt?  He then said'” thank you for you concern but it won’t hurt me at all.” I laughed at his dry butt humor.  He said it might feel uncomfortable but not too bad.  So I said go ahead. He was so careful and good putting on the bands.  He informed me that I might have to come back in two months if I have problems again but if not to cancel my next appointment.  What a relief to have that done and dusted or should that be scoped banded and wiped.  Till the next time, It may be embarrassing but it will be alright, so if you have any problems in that area DON”T WAIT!  Smiles to all 🙂

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